Wednesday 9 May 2012

what's normal when it comes to xxx?















I watched in interesting debate last night on SBS. Called Generation XXX, the question being discussed was Is watching pornography harmless for children or a cause for concern?. It raised the issue of porn 'educating' children and giving them a very unrealistic view of what is 'normal'. It definitely got me thinking...

First off let me say this. There is a time and a place for porn. I am not anti porn at all, but as with all things 'everything in moderation'...

The show focused on a group of teenagers, experts and parents all discussing their point of view. From the Catholic Chaplain who has to control his obsession and stop himself thinking all girls are whores, the cocky boy oozing hormones who considers himself 'very creative', the sullen girl who has had lots of bad experiences, to the ACDC teenager who swings both ways and uses porn as an instruction video... oh dear.

So, has the natural innocent, curious journey of sexual discovery become tainted by hard core extremes? Apparently so.  'Normal' nowadays, for young teenagers is anal, facial cum shots, zero tolerance to hair and a thorough knowledge of SCAT (sexual practises involving feces, for those of you wondering). Blimey. I'm not a prude, but it is a little worrying.  Let's face it, it is ridiculously easy to watch whatever you fancy nowadays.  Video tapes no longer get passed around in secret, now you can just download an app for your phone and watch it on the go...  And it seems kids from a very young age are doing just that. Even with vigilant parents it all gets passed around, so viewing it is unavoidable.


I don't have a problem with experimentation, but it does make me a little uncomfortable, to think of my kids feeling that they have to do all these things, just to keep up with their peers. It has certainly reinforced my view of talking to kids early, both from a factual point of view, and so they understand the good, the bad and the ugly, and most importantly their feelings, respect (for them self and others) and their emotions. Ultimately giving them the confidence to do what they want, safety, whenever they are ready. 

The conscenus at the end of the programme, quite sensibly, was that there needs to be more communication about 'real' sex, from primary school up, so that kids can tell reality from fantasty and can handle the transition from total innocence, to playgroup gossip to engaging in their first experiences in a positive way.



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